Writing Homework Help

Attached is the paper and outline. I need it revised/corrected based on the professors feedback. Again here is the feedback. Please be sure to complete everything requested by the professor. Thank you!

Because this course is about arguments, you should reconstruct your first paragraph by stating at least two premises leading to a tightly connected conclusion. You mention Steve Jobs as an imaginative leader. Yet, you did not supply how he got his idea. What prompted his imagination for the iPhone? Who is responsible for Kellogg’s success? Who is responsible for CVS’s success? How did their vision lead to the betterment of society.?
I am saying that more specific information about persons would improve your report. You could retain some of your general information before and after you highlight the personal achievements of the three special leaders with imagination. Your in-text citations must match one to one with your Reference list. Do some proofreading; I saw some typos.
You could include your opinions as “In my opinion . . . ” toward the end of your report. Be sure to add page numbers.