Humanities Homework Help

Part 1

For this post, please share with the other students what you think is best and brightest idea from your research paper. This could be your thesis, but it could also be an idea in support of your thesis, some part of your introduction, or your conclusion. It can be an idea with a really great example or explanation. Quote the passage that contains the idea, and explain what makes it insightful, compelling, engaging, or persuasive.

Focus on your own voice and idea here– NOT the idea of a secondary source even though a source might be part of the support in the passage you choose. (Refer back to They Say, I Say on adding your own voice, Chapter Five, “And Yet,” pp. 67-76).

Read and reflect upon the posts of other students. Respond to one or two, making sure that your reply adds to the post. You won’t receive credit for a “stock” comment, such as “Great post” or “I agree.”

Student:

People with Borderline Personality Disorder typically come from a family that one or both parents suffer from the same disorder. This seems to be a disorder that is inherited not through genetic patterns but rather from mimicking the behaviors of their parents. The family tends to be full of chaos and abuse varying from verbal, emotional, physical, sexual or a combination of abuses. “People with BPDs form intense, conflict-ridden relationships and they might violate the boundaries of relationships…They often feel rejected and become furious when this occurs” (Lowenstein 2-3). This includes rejection found amongst family members that are sexually abusing their children. When the child rejects their advances they become furious and can lead into a violent situation. As quoted above, BPD’s violate personal boundaries in all their relationships. Their wires tend to be “crossed” and they confuse unhealthy needs and behaviors with showing love and affection. Their number one priority is fulfillment of their own needs, no matter how deviant those needs may be.

Part 2

Attached find the following:

Revisions & Revision Analysis(pasted below)

Actions

Review the above document carefully, so you will know what is expected for your revised essay on Falter and the accompanying revision analysis.

The REVISION + REVISION ANALYSIS (250-300 words) on Essay #2 is due no later than SUNDAY, MAY 24 by 11:59 p.m.

To receive credit for this assignment, your revision analysis must accompany the essay. (Upload them as two documents.)

By this time, you will have submitted and received back comments on your revision for Essay Two, based on Falter. Make sure that you have read and benefitted from the revision process for Essay One, so that you will write an even stronger revision for Essay Two.

Revision Process Grade

In “real life,” professional writers take their work through multiple drafts. The paper you originally submitted should have gone through at least two drafts before you submitted a “finished” version.

However, your papers were assessed points and returned to you with comments and suggestions. Make sure you study these! Here is how to view my feedback on your essays: View Instructor Feedback (Links to an external site.)

Take several hours to revise carefully– if for no other reason than 100 points are at stake. Think about it. This revision can potentially make a letter grade difference in your final grade. But from my perspective, the major benefit of revision to you is the progress in becoming a more skilled and confident writer.

So, do not confuse “revision” with “correction.” Your purpose here is not to make various grammar corrections at the sentence level. Your goal is to clarify your thesis, improve the structure, and most probably add content to your essay.

With all of this understood, be advised: You will not receive points if you hand in the same, or closely similar, paper (as the original). You will receive minimal points if your revision is just makes “corrections” of grammar errors, typos, etc. that have been pointed out to you in the comments. To receive passing points on your revision you must study the marginal and rubric comments and use these to improve your work. If your goal is to receive 80 or more points, you must show — in both the revision analysis and the revised paper — that you have gone beyond my feedback and also used your own critical thinking and writing ability to improve your work.

Rubric

Revision Rubric Spring 2020

Revision Rubric Spring 2020

Criteria	Ratings	Pts
This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeRevision AnalysisRevision analysis explains changes, assesses essay’s improvement, and evaluates self-progress.		15.0 pts
This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeWriting Clarity & MLA StyleMarked improvement is shown in any of the following: sentences, grammar and mechanics, word choice, original title linked to thesis, use and integration of quotations, work cited entry.		15.0 pts
This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeOrganization & CoherenceSuccessful changes have been undertaken in areas related to organization and coherence– organic form, unity, flow, transitions, paragraph style, effectiveness of introduction and conclusion, placement of thesis and key support points, key words		15.0 pts
This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeThesis and ArgumentAny weakness in the thesis has been corrected, and the thesis develops effectively through the paper. Lapses in logic or flaws in argument have been fixed. Summary has been replaced with analysis or argument.		15.0 pts
This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeSupportEvidence, especially quotations and details from the text, have been added. Evident is not only sufficient but relevant, and relevance has been explained.		15.0 pts
This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeVoiceThe voice is appropriate to a formal, college-level essay. Distion is appropriate, precise, and accurate. The student’s voice is distinct from that of any primary or secondary source. The tone of the essay is appropriate to the topic and engaging.		10.0 pts
This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeOriginalityThe student has clearly reviewed the original essay and initiated original changes based on understanding the text, the requirements of the topic, and stylistic considerations.		15.0 pts
Total Points: 100.0

Instructions for Essay Revisions & Revision Analysis

What I Look for In An Essay Revision

A.Don’t just correct obvious errors

• I compare the revision to your original paper looking for clear improvement.
• I want to see that you do more than only correct grammar mistakes and sentence errors I have already pointed out to you.A good revision is more than a “corrected” version of your original submission.

B.Revise to Comments

• The comments on your original paper and the marked rubric help identify what parts of your writing need improvement.If those parts remain the same, the revision will receive minimum points.
• Comments on graded essays represent only ways that an essay might be stronger, but you should also figure out how to make your paper better.You will receive generous points for problems you spot and improvements you make on your own.

C.Levels of Revision:Deep Level vs. Surface Level

• Each final revision should demonstrate both “deep-level” revision and “surface-level” revision. Both are important!
• Deep-level revisions are changes to the ideas, thesis, organization, argument, and support. Deep level revision means you improve analysis, interpretation, and content.Changes might include

• Strengthening the introduction and/or conclusion
• Rewriting the thesis sentence for focus, scope, and precision
• Adding sentences or entire paragraphs in the body
• Reorganizing the ideas and paragraphs
• Adding transitional words, phrases, and sentences that increase coherence and sharpen the focus
• Using more or better quotations and textual references
• Developing ideas more fully, deeply, accurately with better explanation

• Surface-level revisions improve grammar, sentences, word use, and MLA style. These include,
• The revision analysis should be 250-300 words.Upload it as a separate document from the essay revision.

• Rewriting sentences to correct CS, RO, structure, syntax, style
• Improving word choice to avoid repetitious, vague pronouns and to use specific nouns and verbs
• Integrating quotations
• Correcting spelling and grammar errors such as s/v agr, shift in pronoun
• Correcting the in-text citations and work cited page

Hint: Do the deep level revisions first.

Writers revise effectively when they start with the larger aspects of a paper, such as the thesis and organization. (If you begin with sentence errors or word choice, you will not want to delete anything that you have changed to improve organization or argument.)

Instructions for Revision Analysis (250-500 words)

• Do not discuss surface level revisions; I can see these for myself. Instead,

• Explain what deep-level revisions you have made —improvements to thesis, organization, structure, and support.
• Assess how these deep-level changes have improved the essay.
• Evaluate what progress you have made as a writer as a result of revising your essay.